This year I am choosing to make choices instead of resolutions. Resolutions are a lust for the ideal, instead of making up a list and creating a pretend perfect life I am going to make the choices that will help me function more effectively. I will not spend time dreaming up what if or if only scenarios that I won't put effort into completing. I, however, do have the ability and capability to make simple choices that will have more of a profound effect on my life than building castles out of clouds. And as a matter of fact these choices will be more than simple choices they will be what I like to call charismatic choices.
A choice is a simple changing or altering of action with a result. Some are bad, some are good, some can't be defined with a label. I realize now that I have the ability to make these alterations in my life. And after doing little to no analyzing of the necessity of my making these choices I decided I was ready to compile a list that will make my life more refreshing. The only thing that I wanted to be present is charisma.
Charisma is not tangible but it is more seen. I have at times had a few moments when people defined my actions or my choices and, when I'm lucky, my personality as being charismatic. Those times are few and far between. So I choose to make more of these choices that will allow to make charismatic a bigger describer of my personality. These are the choices I will be making:
1. I will chose to go to bed early (around eleven).
I am tired of being tired and I am tired of starting my day late. Going to bed early has been a habit which was changed when I went to college. After going home for Christmas break after first semester and getting back into a routine of sleeping at night and being awake during the day, I realized how much better my body and mind function. How more capable I am of social interaction. I want to have a whole day to be able to productive, to enjoy the time that I have. To go out, to enjoy the sun when it's out. I want to have energy in class so that I will want to learn. So I'll just start turning the lights out earlier.
2. Make exercise a more familiar part of my life.
For the majority of my life I have been an athlete, granted just a mediocre one, but it is sometime that had become routine in my life. Volleyball is how I expressed myself, let out my emotions and celebrated all of my successes. Obviously I don't do well with words. This form of exercise helped to lead and grow in all forms of life. This form of exercise is the reason I met the Lord. So it's kind of important to me. I dropped this completely when I went to college. I dropped it because, though it's the reason I discovered how great God is, it was also one of my biggest distractions from God, oh and I'm not good enough to play for Mason so that made the choice a whole lot easier. But now that that aspect of my life is gone I find my relationship and daily time with Jesus becoming harder. I miss pushing my body past limits and having to rely on the Lord. I miss being thankful for the talent and ability and how wonderful and crazy it is that God gave me these abilities. I miss that feeling of having something accomplished. And I miss being muscular enough to beat up boys. So I will jog, which is a good prelude to my quiet time- but that's a story for another time, I will lift weights so I can beat up boys, and I will use this incredible ability to move that the Lord has granted me.
3. Talk to Jesus.
I love Jesus. I know Him. I want Him. But I don't talk to Him nearly enough. I talk about Him, I read about Him, I learn, I do things for Him (well I benefit from those so for myself) but I don't spend enough time talking to Him. I pray but my praying is done in lists. Thank you for blank, blank, blank. Help me with blank, blank, blank. I raise this person up to you. I know that He knows my heart. I mean He knows everything. But just because He knows doesn't mean I should keep that only to myself and expect Him look and see I should offer everything, EVERYTHING, to Him. Ok not necessary to cap that. Talking with my homeboy should be done everyday. I will try my hardest to do this, I may slip and skip a day. We will see.
4. Be a real college student.
So I got into this program at Mason. It's like the honors college but not the honors college. And it's like baby high school. Easier than high school. I feel like my mind is literally rotting from lack of usage and challenge. So my choice is to be a real college kid. I plan to do this by taking a class that will be a challenge for me- math or science. And to read. A lot. Read books I like, read books I hate, read books that bore me. Just read. Feed myself knowledge. And go to the library to study once this semester. Just once. Also get a library card at a library here, in Fairfax.
5. Make Mason home-ish.
First semester here was rough. Mason is a whole new scene compared to home. At home there are mountains and large open fields. Life is slower paced. And people hold doors open and say things like please and thank you. All these things are brand new concepts in my new college home. So I will hold doors open for people. I will say please. I will not ignore those around me. And most importantly I will not act superior to the employees of the school. I will seek out a new community than the one that I surrounded myself with first semester. I will show others my home and make my home come here. I mean I can't literally move the mountains here but that won't stop me from trying.
6. Leave places better than when I came.
I'm used to doing things. To make things better. To helping the community. I am a used to being a leader. But I no longer am. I don't have those organizations I once had. Over winter break I was filling out scholarship applications and they asked me what my passion was and how I was using that to change the world. One area where I am lucky in, is that I know what my passion is and in the past (like a few months ago) I was doing things to make a change and putting my all into it because it was an interest of mine. Now I've kind of put a hold on it. There is no reason for me to do that, so I will make small choices that will let me 'change' the world, because I am still naive enough to think that I can change the world.
7. Do my own thing.
I need to be independent. I shouldn't need someone by me at all times. By someone I mean friends, not boys. I use others to fill me and quiet my restless heart. I realize that I need to step away from people to quiet my heart. So I need to become less reliant on others and more on myself.
8. I hate odd numbers.
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