The application is pulled up on my laptop. I have two out of the four pages completed and I have started on the third. I started to fill it out to see how I felt while completing it. I don't feel wrong, but I don't feel right, you know that feeling of right, when something is so, so, well, right, to the point that second guessing doesn't exist.
But as I am completing this I can't help but wonder,
Is this something that I want or is it something the Lord is calling me to do?
Is it too soon?
I have cleaned my room, washed and put away the dishes, made my bed, washed and folded laundry and the choice still hasn't been completed. I have other parts of my life together and Nickel Creek is playing in the background, making an attempt to ease the headache I can feel coming. And I realize,
I am bad at making choices.
I always have been. I ride the fence too much, I let things sit for too long. I put it off wishing and hoping that the answer will come eventually and clearly. For example, when choosing a college and now deciding how to spend a portion of my summer. It is just a portion.
But am I being CALLED to do this? Does the Lord NEED me to serve in this area? Is there somewhere else, something else that would better glorify Him? I guess I will pray and wait. Wait and pray.
Perhaps I should not "..be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving bring your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7. Maybe I should listen to Paul.
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