It's when I feel my satisfaction in my self, it's when I feel confidence in this corner of my life, it's when I am calmly walking - not rushing that the sulfur raindrops of doubt fall. Burning rapidly through the budding seeds of hope. The constrictions start in my chest. My shoulders tighten, and my breath shallows. In the span of minutes the lightness I had just been walking in gives way to the familiar trudge. My brow furrows and my lips tighten. How do you time it so well? How do you make sure that just as the first petal was unfurling, just as it was tasting sun, and just as it was dreaming of grow, just then, at that very moment you come home late, you evade questions, you close off. And the sulfur rain burns holes through the new growth. And the old roots, the rotting roots, the doubting roots, the angry roots do their due diligence of feeding that plant that chokes and stifles and that plant continues to sprout a new leaf.
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