Who are you with? I heard a woman ask Eleanor, my roommate's sister. I was visiting my roommate and her family in North Carolina. I heard Eleanor say - these are my sisters, but not mention anything about me. But I knew what the woman was asking. She was asking - who is the brown girl in the pool playing with your kids? She wasn't being malicious or rude. She was just pointing out that I don't belong. Because I'm different. Because I'm brown. So I stayed in the pool, but the exchange lingered. And I felt uneasy. This isn't my family, this isn't my town, this isn't my group. So I got out of the pool and sat at a table by myself. I am 24 years old and I still feel incredibly small and out of place when someone questions my belonging because of traits I do or don't have. This was such an unintentional, innocent question - 'who are you with?' Not directed at me, not an attack, not meant to blatantly single out. This should not have such a rattling effect on me. This should not make me acutely aware of my 'browness.'I shouldn't feel uncomfortable in my skin - thinking that this is all everyone could see or talk about.
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